Letter 6: Theodore Studite, Letter 6; Greek heading: Θεοκτίστῃ τῇ ἑαυτοῦ μητρί.

If it were possible to convey tears in a letter, I would have filled this letter of mine with them and sent it off to you in these days, my precious and sweet and God-beloved mother. For in truth I cannot bear to hear the things concerning you - I do not say your funeral, but even mortal sicknesses. And why, my mother, have you chosen to leave us, having come to love the age that is to come, to depart from us and to take up your dwelling with the Lord? Yet doubtless you have wholly come to love the things that are there, having been transferred in your disposition out of a greater longing; for you have desired all the more to reach my good and holy sister, and my sweet lord Euthymios, and rather the choir of the saints. And, O mother, how shall I bear it, how shall I pass through and read the letter without tears? Is this then laid up for my wretched life - that I should also hear of your death? that I should chant a dirge over you? that, looking upon your tomb, I should inscribe elegies? that you yourself should be laid beneath the earth in body (for in spirit I know that you will lodge in the heavens), while I am above the earth, still dragging out my painful and much-sinning life? And how are these things to be borne? May it not happen to me - yet all must be yielded to the counsel and will of our supremely good God; for indeed He knows what is profitable for each one of us, He understands what is needful, He fits together what is fitting, He is a tenderly loving Father, He arranges all things well, with sure aim, with good counsel, with all wisdom, all beauty, and without leaving anything undone. And O the wisdom and the depth of His judgments, that His ways are unsearchable and untraceable! He took to Himself, then, first the sister, He took to Himself second the brother, He seeks the third. Who might this be? If it be you yourself, great is the praise; for you accomplish the prize of a threefold portion, having well exchanged this life, having forsaken all things, having given all things to God - the head, the limbs, yourself - having worn out your precious body in ascetic discipline, having passed through a much-afflicted life, or rather having walked along the narrow and afflicted way of the Lord, and now in good old age seeking your release. This, accordingly, I deprecate for the present moment - yet best is whatever is dear to God; and who will deliberate more intimately concerning our affairs than He? But fare well to me, mother, both living and falling asleep; for you will not die, since you are alive. By your own choosing you were put to death to this life, since you have fought the good fight, since you were deprived of earthly things in order that you might inherit the heavenly ones, since you took part in the contests of martyrdom without shedding of blood, cutting off from us your own limbs [i.e. cutting yourself off from us, her children] for the love of the Lord. You depart free from care, without a will to make; for there is nothing present to you to bequeath, except your garment of rough cloth and whatever other meager furnishing of an unprovided-for life. From this point on you already stand naked before God, bearing your soul pure from the defilement of material things. Yet you have something that you will leave to us - the mighty prayer that you used to send down upon us when we were still almost infants, marking and sealing us [with the sign of the cross] in the hours of the night, offering supplications to the Lord on our behalf at every season. And you will leave behind also your untiring, chastity-loving, and earnest devotion in the divine liturgies, and the apostolic boast of your labor; for in truth much labor has gone forth from your holy hands and has sheltered and warmed not us alone, but the whole brotherhood as well. And these, having you as a spiritual mother and tending you just as we do, are bereaved of you and call you back. These things we have figured forth in this letter as though they were not yet happening, making consolation for ourselves and disclosing to you the things of our heart, which you know of your own accord. As for me, then, my holy mother, as you know, even though I wished to come to you, I had no way, because of the care that lies upon me unworthily and by I know not what reckoning. For how marvelous it is, as the saying goes, if Saul too is among the prophets [cf. 1 Samuel 10:11], and likewise Theodore among the abbots! This is what shut me in, this is what bound me; since, if I had been gripped by iron chains, I would have burst them and stood before your face. But now, in place of myself, I have sent you the priest [presbyter] for a little comfort, since he too is longed-for and precious to you, that he may be present with you in all things in your weakness, visiting you and taking thought for what is needful; and whether you remain in your present place, let him remain, and whether you go out, let him go out together with you, along with the steward [oikonomos]. For the rest, as God shall prosper it and as your weakness allows, so, precious mother, both pass your life, and do not strain yourself beyond your strength in wishing to depart. But send us quickly word of how you are faring in your illness, that we may take a little heart; and at once all the brethren have made a rule [kanon, an appointed cycle of prayers] for you and keep continual prayer concerning your health. Grant us your holy prayer, bless us with a mother's gifts, greet us through your letter, give us the peace which you have through the grace of Christ and which you shall have unto ages of ages.